Having an “out of mommy” experience

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Today, dd starts Kindergarten. It seems improbable that I’m the mother of a kindergartner. How is that possible?

It’s funny how, as she leaned on me yesterday morning – fussing and crying because I wasn’t coming with her on her school “visit” day events thanks to work commitments – I wasn’t even sure how this was happening. This was my child, clearly, and I was supposed to comfort her as best as I could for someone who had already RSVP’ed to a full-day meeting at a vendor’s site. And she looked at me and called me “mommy” and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how I had a child who was so grown. Just unbelievable.

For the longest time, before I met dh, I never wanted kids. They always seemed annoying. Loud. Sometimes cute, but more often than not, I was happy when I wasn’t required to do anything for them. When dh and I started dating, we (fairly early on) had to have “the talk” about how we’d ever raise kids. I shrugged and said, “Of course, any kids of mine would be Jews.” (Being Jewish, and being female, that’s the law, dontcha know.) He seemed confused, since he was raised American Baptist. Oops. Guess that’s something we’d have to figure out.

Eventually, we did figure it out – we’d raise them with both sets of traditions. And we do, muddling through it all as best as we can. Neither of us is religious, though we have religious identities and we both are spiritual people to varying degrees. We don’t attend synagogue or church, and we typically only do our big nods to organized religion on the respective high holidays – Passover, Easter, Rosh Hashanah, Hanukkah and Christmas (I omit Yom Kippur from my list for various reasons which could be a blog post unto itself).

When we decided to have kids, and then got pregnant, there was a part of me that really went “Oh, crap” rather frequently. Once I was pregnant, there was no turning back for me, and it seemed inescapable that I would become a mother. What on earth did that mean? I remember crying on my pillow one night while pregnant with dd, snuffling over the fact that I was worried I didn’t have a maternal instinct. DH calmed me down and told me that there was no way that was true, and he was right. When I had people reporting to me, I often defended them like a mother lion protecting her cubs. If they went wrong, I’d set them straight, for sure, but I tried to shield them from other people’s BS as much as possible. In other words, just like a mom.

So then we come back to my moment of reverie: dd hanging on me, anguished and looking only for her momma. And that’s me. And though I know she’s mine, there’s something odd about seeing this tall, slim, gorgeous girl coming to me and looking at me as though I can make it all better. I wish I could…but even the most super of all moms isn’t able to make everything all better all the time.

And I wasn’t able to get her to stop crying completely before I left for my all-day meeting; she was wailing for me as I walked out the door. But dh assured me that she’d calmed down not long after I left the house, and later reports from both of them showed that she had a good time visiting at school with her new teacher and the people running the after-school program. And today, I get to walk her up to school on her first day.

So mommy will be there sometimes, but not all. And no matter what, mommy is me. It’s as undeniable as the air I breathe. There are clearly days where it will seem strange, as though I blinked and my life fast-forwarded years in a heartbeat. But as bizarre as it may seem to stare at this wondrous beauty of a girl who can’t possibly be old enough for elementary school – and yet clearly is – the look in her eyes reminds me of the perfect truth reflected in her eyes: mommy is me.

Adventures in CSA (year 2 week 10): Holy savings, Batman!

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When I first looked at my friend’s CSA box, I hadn’t expected there to be a ton of savings built in, since there wasn’t a ton in the box. Sure enough, there were 3lbs of heirloom tomatoes, but I hadn’t expected that they alone would be the “cost” of the entire CSA box! Just as a reminder, the program my friend is in works differently than the one I’ve been using; it’s more open-ended, in that you pay for a season and you keep reaping as long as there’s a season and stuff’s still growing. Mine is a week-by-week program, so there’s no up-front commitment. And, as my friend noted, if he picks his own, he gets substantially more than I saw in the “picked for me” box. So there’s that, too. In other words, if you’re interested in getting some serious value, going in on a program like this may be better – assuming you can absorb the up-front payment and don’t want/prefer to buy on a weekly basis.

For my part, having the flexibility of opting out of a given week’s box is a really fabulous thing, since some boxes have more or less of what I want. It’s also nice not having the pressure of trying to find someone else to pick up the veg if I’m not around, Lastly, I like fruit – and there’s no fruit in my friend’s program due to space constraints and such. I realize that some, like Tammy, don’t get fruit in their boxes (and she wishes she did!), but having had it last year…I’m spoiled used to it. I want my fruit, too. The big perk I wish my program had is the one my sister’s CSA (at yet another farm) has…a bin for trading items that you don’t want. It’s like a “leave a veg, take a veg” box. WANT. This would give me a place to put all those extra cukes without making so much tzatziki that we’re drowning in it. But I digress…

In other words, lots of pros on either side, and a few cons on each side (mine’s more expensive than his, but I get flexibility that he doesn’t have, etc.). What this does speak to is the incredible variation in programs in my area.

Here’s how things worked out for my friend’s box – going off a base of $13.89 assumed price per week, based on (approximately) 18 weeks in the $250 season:

Year 2 – Summer Week 10
Weight
(lb)		 Grocery Store Unit Price (per lb) Grocery Store Total Item Cost
Heirloom Tomatoes 3.45 $3.99 $13.75
Green Pepper 0.26 $1.49 $0.38
Eggplant 1.09 $1.49 $1.63
Jalapeno Peppers 0.13 $3.99 $0.53
Boston Lettuce (head) 1.00 $2.29 $2.29
Cherry Tomatoes (pint) 1.00 $3.99 $3.99
Grocery Store Total Cost $22.57
Year 2 Summer Week 10 Savings (Deficit) $8.68

If you live in Eastern Mass or Rhode Island, I can definitely say that it’s hard NOT to have access to a decent CSA. So, feel free to explore. If you’re not in this area and you don’t know where to go to get in on one, use the CSA locator on the Local Harvest web site and see what’s in your area. Clearly, it can be worth it. BIG TIME. And if you don’t have a CSA nearby, check your grocery store for signs that say “I’m Local!”. Even our local BJ’s clubs now carry local veg. This may not have the price savings built in, but it will help you get fresher items from local farms, and that’s pretty awesome all by itself.

Adventures in CSA (year 2 week 10): TAKE THIS BOX

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It’s not every day that someone asks you to take their veggies, but this very thing happened to me. Turns out that friends of ours were having their summer holiday…and that trip happened to overlap with their CSA pick-up day. So, I awoke one morning to a Facebook message from my friend, asking if I wanted their CSA box this week. Why, sure! It’s not every day that someone offers you fresh veggies for free!

The CSA they’re in is offered by our local YMCA, run in a community garden in the next town over from the Y. The CSA started in early July and will run through late October (or as far into November as the farm decides they can continue producing enough for the share). This CSA is a bit unique in that, unlike the one I’ve been purchasing week-by-week, you can either pick up your box or you can go out into the field and pick your own. With our hectic schedule, I can’t imagine trying to incorporate a “pick-your-own” scenario into a weekly veggie box program, but that’s just me.

(*my friend provided the following update just after I posted my blog entry originally, so here’s what he had to say, then we’ll resume the original entry…*)

“The actual farming is done by volunteers. In some cases, classes of kids come and learn about farming while they tend the farm. {Our dd} has learned so much from the program just picking. Not only does she recognize all the various veggies, but she also knows how to tell if things are ripe. Some veggies she just eats right off the plant, like purple string beans and cherry tomatoes…zero pesticides. I have to admit, they are pretty good.

I doubt they’ll ever have tree fruits, because most take so long to fruit and it may be difficult without the aid of pesticides. Plus, trees take up space. They also recycle the plots, so it’s unlikely they do perennials. Though some things like strawberries can be replanted every year. Because there’s so much turnover of the land, they’re going to be able to do things in the fall that they missed on in the cooler spring, like spinach…”

(*resume original entry*)

So, off I went to pick up the box, and this is what I found:

Adventures in CSA year 2 week 10 veggie box

Such prettiness!

  • Heirloom Tomatoes
  • Eggplant
  • Green Pepper
  • Cherry Tomatoes
  • Jalapeno Peppers
  • Boston Lettuce
Adventures in CSA year 2 week 10 cherry tomatoes

So lovely and SO tasty

The price comparison on this one is a bit trickier, since the price is $250 for the entire program, and there’s a variable length issue. Assuming that the box program started in the first week of July, as I was told, and it runs through the end of October, that would mean approximately 18 weeks, which translates to $13.89/week. I’ll use that as my starting point for comparison, and we’ll see whether or not my friend’s veggie box is a good deal when you just do the pick-up option. He did ask me to send him a picture so that he could compare the volume you get when you pick up versus when you pick it yourself, and {update} his response was that you definitely get more when you pick at the farm instead of just picking up the box{/update}. Certainly, if you can stuff more in when you pick on your own, time-willing, that may be a really great option. I don’t have the time…but for those that do, it’s an interesting way to try to economize even further when buying local.

The only other funny thing about this veggie box is that it had no fruit in it! I found that rather interesting, since every other veggie box I’ve gotten has had something – berries, apples, etc. – SOME kind of fruit. This one was full-on veggie-only. Guess that means we’ll be off to the farmstand this weekend to restock our fruit supply…