Weight Loss & Travel: How I Stayed on Track, Even at BlogHer!

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Me, with my Happy Meal dinner at the BlogHer closing party

I’m lovin’ it: in moderation!

BlogHer’14 was the third of four conferences on my calendar for this year – all out-of-town jaunts that had the potential to put my weight loss goals in jeopardy. For each conference, I set a very simple goal: net neutral. What that means is that I wanted to come home and have my weekly weigh-in be no worse than where I was at the prior weigh-in. I weigh myself weekly, first thing in the morning every Sunday, and I track my progress in MyFitnessPal, so I have a way to see how I’m doing week over week. Little things, like the usual monthly hormonal fluctuations, have played havoc here and there; but, for the most part, I’ve been moving in the right direction.

Conferences can screw with all of that.

First off, my regular schedule is completely disrupted. I’m not sleeping nearly as well, and my usual level of activity often turns into the sloth-like drudging from salon to ballroom and elevator to hotel room.

Second, the food is often far saltier and fattier than what I cook at home, and the quantity is so large that it’s hard to track calories. There’s food everywhere and snacks tend to be abundant, so it’s tricky trying not to eat all day long.

For the first two conferences I attended this year, I either lost weight or came back net neutral. When I came home from BlogHer’14, I had actually lost weight. It seems improbable – or maybe even impossible – but it definitely happened. It’s not HUGE weight loss, but that’s not the point. In general, weight loss of 1-2 lbs per week is safest, and I kept pace with that.

Want to know how I managed to do it? It’s a simple formula:

How to Lose Weight While Traveling

Really, all you have to do is Eat, Drink, and Move. Seem a bit crazy? Here’s how it works:

Eat:

Travel presents some seriously bad food options. You eat when you can, and the choices aren’t always the healthiest things out there. That doesn’t mean you should only ever eat salads – but don’t mainline bacon cheeseburgers and chili-cheese fries, either. Balance out your protein and carbs and try to eat at least one healthy meal per day. Most importantly, listen to your body: if you feel sick, like you’ve eaten too much, PUT DOWN THE FOOD AND BACK AWAY SLOWLY. I know, I know, sometimes it’s just so good that you don’t want to leave anything behind. But really, if you find yourself consistently feeling ill from the amount of food you ate, you’re probably overdoing it. I still sampled local delicacies while in San Jose – such as the Kouign Amann at Philz Coffee (DIVINE PASTRY OF THE GODS) – but I didn’t have one every day and at every meal. Pacing and moderation really saved me from feeling like I was going overboard.

My breakfast at Philz: coffee and pastry

The ultimate Philz breakfast: an XL iced coffee + a chocolate Kouign Amann

 

Drink:

One of the funny things about BlogHer’14 was the distinct scarcity of water. Having IBS, I don’t drink a ton of alcohol or caffeine – dehydration can trigger illness and caffeine is definitely one of my triggers – so I rely heavily on water as my go-to drink. If you’re hydrated, you tend to overeat less; I’ve seen this during my regular day, too, that I may feel hungry when in fact I’m just thirsty. That’s not to say that I didn’t have any alcohol; I had several glasses of tasty eppa Sangria at various parties, as well as a mimosa at the opening night Expo party that had only a passing flirtation with orange juice. At one point, I had a water bottle stashed in my conference tote and just walked around with it, so even if I never found a water cooler, I had a way to keep myself covered. Whenever water was offered, I took some; and when it was only for sale, I bought a bottle and drank it right down.

Move:

Knowing that my conference days would be jam-packed with meetings, where the majority of my exercise would be going from floor to floor on escalators and elevators, I had to find some way to counteract the slothitude. For the longer of my two New York-based conferences, as well as for BlogHer’14, I brought workout clothes and my sneakers, and I got myself up at the crack of dawn on two mornings to hit the hotel gym’s treadmill. Even if it was a small workout (say, 45 mins), it was better than nothing at all. I really had no idea how much movement I would get on any given day, so making time to move was crucial. Whenever anyone else was up for a walk around town, I went for it and was willing to walk for miles.

On the last night of BlogHer’14, McDonalds sponsored an EPIC closing party that featured more of that free-flowing eppa Sangria, a selection of McDonalds Happy Meals, and music provided first by DJ Rashida and later by Rev Run of Run-DMC. I don’t remember exactly what song DJ Rashida put on that got me to drop my Happy Meal mid-chew, but once I got to the dance floor, I didn’t leave it until Rev Run left the stage a good 90 minutes later. I DANCED MY BUTT OFF. Rev Run had us partying so hard to such an amazing selection of tunes that if I gained any calories from my cheeseburger and fries, they all sweated right off in his hour-long set. Take your chances to move when you can, really. I did.

Apps at the eppa Sangria Soiree

Tasty treats prepared by Whole Foods for the eppa Sangria Soiree on opening night

 

So, what’s the ultimate lesson?

These tips I’m suggesting, things that worked for me, aren’t so dramatic that they require that you starve, abstain, or run a marathon every time you travel. And none of these are things that you shouldn’t be doing any other day of the week if you’re in the same boat I’m in as far as weight loss goes. What they do show, however, is that you can still have an insanely good time – eating Happy Meals, drinking sangria, eating pastries – and still lose weight. Moderation, Hydration, and Movement are the keys to having a fun trip where you can bring home the memories but not the extra pounds. I know for me, that’s yet another highlight of my time at BlogHer that I won’t soon forget.

I love my kids, but I’m glad to be done having babies

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Yep. I’m committing heresy. This is pure girl blasphemy. I’m saying OUT LOUD to all the Interwebs that I’m glad I’m not having more kids.

I realize that – by some people’s definition – mothers are supposed to be all “Oh, babies are just the best and I could totally go for another one!” anytime a friend shows off their newborn, but I’m perfectly content to coo from a distance and be happy snuggling the two I have. As the younger of two kids, from parents who were an only child and the elder of two, respectively, I’m used to the concept of a small family. Meeting DH’s family for the first time, and seeing that the extended family was A) large, and B) around each other on a regular basis, was overwhelming. I swear it took me a good six months just to learn everyone’s names.

When we talked about kids, DH really wanted four. His mother is the second of four, and he really liked the idea of a big family. Until I met DH, I’d figured I wasn’t going to have kids at all; it was never really something I wanted to do, and I never thought I clicked well with kids. We waited for me to finish graduate school before we really started trying to have kids, and it seemed to take forever before I finally got pregnant. I’m actually pretty sure I had a miscarriage right before I got pregnant with dd. It was early, though, so it just felt like a horrible period.

I remember lying in bed one night when I was pregnant with dd, wondering aloud, “What if I don’t have a maternal instinct?” DH assured me that everything would be fine, and I just hoped for the best. While some parts of the early parenting experience were rough – like exclusively pumping for six months because of physical issues that made breastfeeding hard and my stubborn refusal to give up – it turns out that I do have a maternal instinct. That part, at least, is comforting.

At some point during my pregnancy with ds, my OB/gyn asked me if I wanted to have a repeat c-section or a VBAC, and it took me a while to think it through. DD had been in full breech, so c-section was the way to go for my first delivery. There was some risk with VBAC, and I gathered info from my doctor and other sources before making my choice about how I would have ds delivered. Ultimately, I decided on a repeat c-section. When I told my doctor this, she immediately countered with, “Would you like your tubes tied?” I think I blinked a few dozen times and let that sink in.

 

“Can you do that?”, I asked.

“Of course. They’re right there,” she said, cupping her hands in the air as she mimed holding my fallopian tubes.

Huh.

I called my health insurance company and they said that “voluntary sterilization” was a covered benefit, and they thought it was great that I would be able to consolidate things into ONE hospitalization and ONE anesthesia and ONE recovery.

Huh.

“Voluntary sterilization”.

 

It sounded so…sterile.

 

And so it was, that on August 11, 2009, after giving birth to a healthy baby boy, I was voluntarily sterilized with a tubal ligation. In normal people-speak, that means, I shouldn’t get pregnant ever again. That doesn’t mean I can’t, since I know that there is a minuscule chance that I could get pregnant. One of the former teachers at the kids’ daycare center is a tubal baby, so I know it’s possible. But still, as much as I hate the creature with the rusty knife that attacks my abdomen every month, I’m secretly happy. It means I escaped one more month closer to the point when babies are simply no longer an option.

It’s not that I don’t love kids – I adore my kids. They are the light of my life and there is no way that I would want to know what my life would be like if I had never had them.

But knowing what it was like struggling with breastfeeding that never worked and pumping that I made take over my life, remembering what it was like to juggle life with infants who couldn’t tell me funny stories, and thinking of what it was like dealing with blow-out diapers and strollers and high chairs and baby food and pacifiers and and and…I’m happy never to go back.

I love my babies. And though I know that it probably makes me a freak in some people’s eyes for saying that dd and ds are enough, I don’t want more babies. I want the kids I have and I know I was meant to have only them. I’m more than content with that. They are all that I wanted and never knew I needed until they were in my arms. And each time I get my period, I say a silent thank-you to my body, for keeping me at just the two that I adore. I have an abundance of awesome in my two sweet and wonderful kiddos, and that’s all I need. Anybody who thinks I should ever want more doesn’t know me and doesn’t know my babies. I truly have all that I need.

 

My BlogHer’14 Plus/Delta: My 5 x 2 round-up

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BlogHer14 Badge

 

This was my second BlogHer conference; BlogHer’12 (New York City) was my first, and BlogHer’14 (San Jose) was my chance to be the veteran, swagger in full effect. Well, what passes for swagger. It mostly translated to “I’m not putting on tons of makeup for this.” With the location for BlogHer’15 still unannounced, here’s my take on what to consider before making travel reservations for 2015. For those who haven’t seen a “plus/delta” before, plus represents things that worked well and delta is for things that need improving (delta being a symbol for change).

 

Plus

I met my soulmate. I was introduced to Slap Dash Mom by a mutual friend, and we were on the same wavelength from the first minute. Sadie knocked me over with her awesomeness. We were some kind of stupid chick flick on the afternoon we left San Jose, when she was due to board her flight at the same time JetBlue would finally open their counter to let me check my bag, effectively circumventing our last shot at ONE FINAL HUG. Luckily, her flight got delayed – and the line at security was short – so we managed to get one last little visit in. It was some serious Hollywood material. Truly: call us. We’ll help write the script, guys. Have your people call my people.

 

Sadie+me

Sadie and me, before her flight took her home to Arizona

 

My path is MUCH clearer. My aforementioned soulmate is a highly accomplished blogger and, during our first evening together, she gave me a “Come to Sadie” talking-to that I really needed. It clicked: I understood that, in the choice between running an online journal and running a blog, I preferred to have a blog. I realized that what she was talking about – running self-hosted on my own domain, finding ways to engage with brands where money or goods may be offered but my morals aren’t for sale, etc. – was the direction I really wanted to go. THIS is why I came to BlogHer: to find my path.

I made new brand connections! This trip, I talked with brands I hadn’t met before and satisfied my curiosity about products I didn’t know very well. In some cases, this meant I got information and set up relationships that will lead to “work” together; in other cases, it helped me quickly cross things off my list. Bloggers, especially newbies, may assume that any brand that shows interest is one that you should do work with; depending upon your specific goals, that may – or may not – be the case.

I learned some best practices. I heard about optimizing WordPress, using visuals to improve your blog, and key elements for creative non-fiction. I’m planning to channel these lessons into improvements I’m rolling out over the next couple of months, and having face-to-face connections with these subject matter experts was really helpful.

 

Communication

A reminder that it’s all about communication

 

I made a bunch of new friends! I met bloggers at a variety of experience levels, and so many people were nice, funny, kind, and cool people. It’s lovely to fly 3,000 miles and meet people who you’d love to see every day. Jana of Merlot Mommy, Christy of Giveaway Train, Carol of All Mommy Wants, and Melanie of She’s Write are just some of the fabulous people I met.

 

Delta

When I joked that San Jose wasn’t the desert, I didn’t expect them to hide the water. For some reason, water was exceptionally hard to find at BlogHer’14. In fact, as we wandered the Expo Hall on opening night, bartenders explained champagne was free but water was $2/bottle. Wat. If we’re going to support health, let’s start with hydration, please. Since cups seemed to be the most popular swag choice for BlogHer’14 sponsors, it would’ve been nice if one was included in the conference tote bags, along with a map for hydration stations.

Brands are running away from BlogHer conferences. According to current exhibitors, it’s obvious that the costs of BlogHer participation are becoming – or have become – too high. Whether it’s the five-figure sponsor fees  or the tight restrictions on events/giveaways and badges, BlogHer is getting a reputation as being brand-unfriendly. This clearly contributed to the founding of Blogger Bash, a brand-oriented event held in New York City the weekend prior to BlogHer’14. Apparently, outboarding events – timed to coincide with the conference but without the sponsorship $$$ heading to BlogHer – got out of control at BlogHer’13, but the pendulum swung too far in the other direction for 2014. Note: Outboarding events still occurred, but they were greatly diminished in number.

Which brings us to swag…or the lack thereof. I’m no swagwhore, but the distinct lack of quality swag was fairly depressing. Fab swag kudos go to the teams at official sponsors Chuck E. Cheese (board games and tokens), Baskin Robbins (ice cream!), Bridgestone/Firestone (tote bags and those amazing tire cake pops), and Skype (power stations, rain jackets, and the ever-present cups). That’s not to say that other folks didn’t have great swag, but the majority of the offerings were minimal. Even “room drops” – items delivered to your room when you stay in an official conference block room – were minimal to non-existent. My roommate and I only got stickers from The Mrs. (tune to enoughsong.com to hear their tune); others got stickers and cupcakes. The consistent theme was, “No, you’re actually in a desert and just didn’t know it”. Perhaps if BlogHer lowered their sponsor fees, sponsors might be more inclined to dangle better swag and increase booth traffic.

 

Tire cakepops

These tire cake pops were as tasty as they were adorable

 

Trust in the BlogHer team is diminishing. There were several “official” events (breakfasts, talks, etc.) with a limited sign-up window and, “in the interest of fairness”, random selection of bloggers rather than first-come, first-served. One look at who got the first batches of confirmations suggests that “random” was a creative term. Bloggers with well-established brand relationships coincidentally landed spots at these exclusive events, shutting out new folks. Any attempt to swap or otherwise open space up was greeted with iron fists and disinvites. If the brands or BlogHer want to fill events with bloggers that have pre-established relationships, they should be honest about it. Disclosing “pre-existing relationships will increase your likelihood of getting chosen” will at least give people a sense of whether they should get their hopes up. That said, I would prefer first-come, first-served: let those with the fastest fingers win. Or let people apply and the brand picks who they want. Transparency is better than opacity that’s pretty damn easy to see through.

Session diversity and organization needs to improve. The most common complaint was that sessions were too high-level or aimed at newbies. Experienced, well-established bloggers are looking for more connections (with each other and/or brands) and to take their blogs to the next level. General sessions, where material lacks depth, don’t really serve that need. To that end, I’d recommend that BlogHer do two very important things.

  1. Set up specific tracks, i.e. “Beginner, Experienced, Advanced”, and then build content in each track to support the needs of those different bloggers. Of course, you let people roam in case they’re newer to one thing than another, but having categories and developing content for each unique need is vital to re-establishing BlogHer’s place as THE conference for bloggers.
  2. Put screens at each Geek Bar table. A distinct lack of A/V support hampered some of the sessions, and that’s not supportive of the speakers that are taking the time to develop and conduct presentations/sessions.

 

Reverend Run DJ's the closing party, sponsored by McDonalds

Reverend Run of Run-DMC brings down the house with an epic 1hr set at the closing party, sponsored by McDonalds

 

Verdict: Ultimately, ANY conference is what you make of it. There will always be sessions that don’t quite grab you, food that’s not 100% fantastic, and people that turn their nose up rather than say “Hi” to a stranger. On the flip side, there is always at least one nugget of wisdom, there’s always a restaurant or SOMEWHERE nearby for better food, and there’s always at least one nice person who’d love to be your friend. I had a blast at BlogHer’14, neither in spite of it nor because of it. I hung out with friends both new and old, I learned a lot, and I soaked up plenty of sun. I can make a party anywhere. So, before you go to BlogHer’15 – or any other conference – the question for you is: Can you say the same?