Author Archives: crunchymetromom

{interlude} In Memoriam – why smoking sucks

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I hate cancer so much I can’t put it into words without cussing so much you’d think I just got off a naval warship. I was considering breaking my longstanding streak of not really cussing on this blog, but then I decided against it. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how many f-bombs I drop. She’s not coming back.

Whether or not you believe in reincarnation, heaven, hell, nirvana, some other plane of existence or just damn nothingness at all, I think it’s fairly safe to say that there are few people out there who really truly want to die, much less die having been in pain for months on end. Nobody wants that. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, much less a member of my family.

So, here’s the deal: my aunt died yesterday. She was the only aunt I had related to me by blood; she and my mom were it for my maternal grandparents, and my father was an only child. When I was a little kid and we’d drive to New Jersey to visit with her and her husband (and later the family, after they had a daughter), I remember just marveling at how cool their house was. They had this great place, which I guess you’d label as a contemporary house (pointy angles and fun staircases), filled with books and niches where you could lose a day just reading. They had cable TV well before we ever did, which made their house infinitely cooler than mine in Suburban Maryland, and the open plan on the main floor made for an easy convergence of all traffic into the kitchen, the nerve center of the house.

You’d often find my aunt in the kitchen, smoking. I don’t remember her smoking constantly, and I really don’t remember the house smelling of cigarette smoke, but I have distinct memories of her smoking in the kitchen and this not being an infrequent scene.

My mom gave up smoking before I was born, and my dad quit sometime not long after I was born, although he still smokes cigars – a habit I find so utterly repellent that I can’t be anywhere near him when he lights up. My aunt continued smoking for some time, quitting more than a decade ago but obviously not soon enough.

The woman who I knew as a strong, intelligent, funny, sweet person, this teacher of Latin and mythos (primarily Roman and Greek), was first diagnosed with cancer when she was in her thirties. This was breast cancer, and a diagnosis that early is never a good thing. Still, she managed to beat it back and it wouldn’t return for several decades, when she would beat it back again.

Then there was the first diagnosis of lung cancer. We all held our collective breath. Lung cancer. Smoking. Of course. When it’s breast cancer, prostate cancer, or some other random but common cancer, you can’t necessarily trace it to any one behavior. But lung cancer and smoking go hand in hand like old enemies. But unlike Holmes and Moriarty or the Doctor and the Master, there’s no real love or potential fantasy component here. Whenever cancer’s in the mix, it’s just Atropos standing over you, waiting to cut the strand of yarn that defines the time you have left to live.

She fought off the lung cancer, losing part of a lung in the process, and we all hoped that would be the end of it. Of course, we were wrong. Sadly, we were just being hopeful.

When the cancer returned, within only a few years, it came back as Stage IV. She was given a meager prognosis and the doctors did what they could. What was toughest to watch was her withdrawal from it all. Much like how animals often curl up and hide when they’re sick, trying to preserve their strength and separate themselves from the rest of society, so she too tried to hide from the diagnosis and the reality that it dictated. She left us in little bits, day by day, wreaking probably the most damage on my mother, who was completely powerless to hang onto her sister. And that’s heart-wrenching for me on so many levels, not the least of which is that there’s only so much you can do when you’re 500mi away from the subjects of the conversation.

It wasn’t much of a surprise when we heard a few weeks ago that she was being put into hospice, that the doctors felt there wasn’t much more that could be done for her other than to make her comfortable. And, after a long battle that sometimes seemed endless and other times felt like time flying by, she closed her eyes for the last time.

I got the e-mail from my mother as I was on my way between meetings and I collapsed against the hallway wall. It takes the wind out of you to lose someone that you loved, whether or not you saw them recently, whether or not you could make it all better. I kept working for the rest of the day because that’s what I felt I had to do, but I put Radiohead on my iPod and mourned in my own fashion.

It’s impossible for me to express just how much I hate cigarettes right now. Having been a smoker for a while when I was much younger (albeit a very light smoker), I understand the draw. Really, I do. But I also see the consequences, and I can only hope that I escape the fate she had to endure. If even one person within the reach of my electronic voice can read this and put down their next cigarette, and the one after that, and the one after that…

Don’t lose yourself. If you’re smoking, please stop. Please please pretty please. If you won’t do it for others, then at least do it for yourself.

Rest in Peace, Jackie. I miss you and love you very much.

Movie Review: “Finding Nemo 3D”

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Finding Nemo 3D

 

Somehow, when “Finding Nemo” came out in theaters the first time, in 2003, I missed out on seeing it. I can’t remember if it was a lack of other people who wanted to go see an animated film or if I was just too overloaded with grad school and work to notice that there were movies in the theater. Regardless, there’s no time like the present to catch up and see a really cute film.

The story opens with two clownfish parents, Marlin (the truly wonderful Albert Brooks) and Coral (Elizabeth Perkins), cooing over their bountiful brood of baby clownfish eggs. Circumstances interrupt their joy, seeing as how the ocean isn’t really as peaceful as all that, and we’re soon left with Marlin carefully cradling a single egg and calling the baby fish therein “Nemo”, the name Coral had wanted at least one of the babies to have. As the movie then quickly fast-forwards to Nemo’s first day of “school”, you see that Marlin’s experience with loss has made him a neurotic mess. This is exactly where Brooks shines, and as a big fan of his prior works as neurotic messes in movies like “Broadcast News” and “Defending Your Life”, he’s just the perfect casting for the role.

 

Finding Nemo 3D - Nemo and Marlin

Nemo and his dad, Marlin, head off to the first day of school

 

The young Nemo, played by Alexander Gould, chafes at his father’s over-protectiveness and his attempt at rebellion ultimately lands him in the net of a Sydney dentist looking for an exotic present for his brace-faced, clueless niece. The movie then kicks into high gear, switching back and forth between Marlin’s search for Nemo and Nemo’s experience in the tank at the dentist’s office. (The dentist is played by the late Aussie legend Bill Hunter, who I adored in “The Adventures of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert” and “Muriel’s Wedding”.)

Marlin’s adventures are fueled and facilitated by Dori, a blue-finned and forgetful fish voiced by comedian/talk show host Ellen Degeneres, in easily the most flexible role of her life. She was really astonishing in this role, as she pitched from silly to sweet and back again. Nemo’s tank-based adventures are directed by Gill – an angelfish with an attitude, cleverly voiced by Willem Defoe – and the fish is as no-nonsense as Defoe has ever been in any of the roles where I’ve seen him before (such as “Wild at Heart”). Other supporting actor gems include Nigel, a kind-hearted pelican, played by Oscar winner Geoffrey Rush, and an entire school of fish voiced by Pixar mainstay John Ratzenberger.

 

Finding Nemo 3D - Dori and Marlin

Dori and Marlin on their adventure

 

The movie swings back and forth between the two sides of the story – the penitent father who fears everything but ultimately risks it all to save the son who’s willing to try anything because he doesn’t really understand the value of maturity and wisdom. Both move along quickly in their progression, Marlin coming more out of his shell and testing his limits, with Dori either leading the way or (unwittingly) forcing him to risk his life, while Nemo learns about patience and persistence under Gill’s tutelage.

Marlin’s journey through danger and wonder is clearly a metaphor for what every parent experiences as they try to raise their children; you’d walk across glass to save your child, if you could, and the fish version may just include swimming into water infested with sharks, jellies and other nasties that show the darker side of life in the ocean. Nemo’s maturity is accelerated but seems right in line with what all children eventually have to learn about independence, patience, and determination.

 

Finding Nemo 3D - Nemo and Gill

Nemo and Gill sharing quality tank-time

 

And then we get to the 3D. Really, I think it was just very nicely done. At no point did I feel like it was distracting or overbearing; the 3D work gave the film depth without having fish flying at your head. Many of the effects were subtle and simply made it seem a bit less like a flat, two-dimensional cartoon. In other words, it worked really nicely. DD, who attended the screening with me, gaped at the screen when she finally allowed me to put the glasses on her head. “It’s like you’re IN the movie,” she gasped. Why yes, that’s how it’s supposed to feel.

My only potential beef with the movie is in the rating. While it’s rated G, there are clearly a number of scenes where Marlin, Nemo and other key characters are put at considerable risk or where there are “scary” parts. I’m not sure that this should have been rated PG, but I can say that dd spent the first half of the movie with her head in my left armpit, and it took a considerable amount of convincing to get her to dislodge it. Given that she’s at the low-end of the target age (five, turning six in a couple of months), it’s possible that she just wasn’t as ready for it, but this wasn’t her first viewing of the film and her experience seeing it the first time caused her to worry about seeing it again. So, take that for what you will. If you bring small children, they may or may not react well to the scary parts.

Overall, I think Pixar did a great job with this one. It’s a cute film with really excellent acting and the usual high-quality Pixar animation, this time with the 3D effects to add a little more realism to the display. For those looking to bring their kids to a fun film that’s gorgeous to watch, this is definitely worth checking out.

 

3-1/2 out of 4 stars

“Finding Nemo 3D” opens nationwide on September 14, 2012. This movie is rated G (General Audiences).

My 2nd walking marathon (part 1)

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This time last year, I was gearing up to walk my first marathon. Given the schedule, this year’s walk came sooner…but at least I knew what to expect this time around. Until I registered for the 2011 Boston Marathon Jimmy Fund Walk, I figured that there’s no way I’d ever get to do a marathon. First off, I thought you could only really run them (not true). Second, I knew I couldn’t run one (true – and also would be in direct violation of my doctor’s “DON’T RUN” rule). Third, I assumed marathons were only for elite athletes or people who are VERY, very in-shape (not necessarily true). And it wasn’t until I did my first marathon that I figured out what was really true and what wasn’t. Fourth, and perhaps most importantly, walking one marathon prepared me so much more for the successive ones than anyone’s advice could have, so I’ve decided to cram all those lessons learned into the next couple of blog posts.

As a reminder, the Boston Marathon Jimmy Fund Walk is an annual walking event in the Boston area that benefits the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, a cancer research and treatment facility that has gained a lot of notoriety for their pediatric care, in addition to their adult care, as well as a boatload of research and treatment options that they’ve developed or pioneered. Loads of people support them, and they have strong affiliations with local sports teams, like the Boston Red Sox and the Boston Bruins. Kids with cancer – how can you NOT support that?!

You don’t have to walk a full marathon; you can walk a half-marathon (13.1mi), which departs from Babson College, you can walk a 5mi course that departs from Boston College, or you can walk a 5K course that departs from Dana-Farber itself. I chose the full marathon (26.2mi), which leaves from Hopkinton, MA, and follows the entire Boston Marathon route run by all those amazing people on Patriots Day every year.

The way I see it, walking any marathon comes down to a few essential things – and walking one for charity just adds an additional component:

  1. Event Selection
  2. Gearing Up
  3. Training
  4. Fundraising
  5. Walking
  6. Recovering

I’ll cover the first two of those items in this post, and the remaining two will go into the next three posts. Now for the VERY important disclaimer: None of the manufacturers, companies, etc. that I’m writing about have given me ONE THING in exchange for this. I’m writing my opinion about products, services, and businesses that I picked on my own without any kind of quid pro quo. Also, I’m not an expert. Before you go and do something as nuts as walking 26.2mi in one day, PLEASE consult with your doctor, personal trainer, and any other folks who can give you an eyeball up and down and determine whether they think you’re up for it. In other words, don’t do or say as I do until you’ve had someone else confirm that you should take part in a walking event.

Event Selection

There aren’t a ton of walking marathons in this area, or at least there aren’t a lot that I hear about. The Boston Marathon is one of those elite, world-famous races, so the temptation to get to do this amazing route is incredibly high. Since I know I can’t run a race (remember: doctor’s orders!), I figured I HAD to try to walk it. The bar for entry is incredibly low – anybody can register (small entry fee) and this year, you needed to raise a minimum of $300. In events like this, where there’s a minimum fundraising amount, the event organizer will take a credit card number from you (whatever you use for registering) and if you haven’t raised at least the minimum by some time on or after the event date, the difference to get you to that minimum will be charged to your card. So, there’s motivation to raise $$. If you want to try a walking marathon with no fee, I suppose you could always organize something that gives you bathroom breaks around every 2-3mi, walking past your friends’ houses for 26.2mi…but going with a professionally organized event is a much better bet. Really.

Gearing Up

I had some trial and error going on here, at first. My first selection of shoes, a pair of Saucony Grid shoes, was nice enough…but the toebox wasn’t really big enough for my ultra-wide feet. What this meant was that I ended up with a bloody sock and damage to my feet. NOT. GOOD. My pointer toenails STILL haven’t recovered from that, even more than a year later.

After a false start attempt with a running store nearish to my office, I found what I needed at Marathon Sports – a local chain of running stores that’s known for being serious about getting you into the right gear. In my case, my wide feet demanded a similarly wide shoe, so the right fit for me ended up being an EXTRA WIDE pair of men’s Brooks Addiction sneakers. What’s the lesson here? It’s not that you should go to a running store, since that should be a given. The lesson I learned was that I should ignore the mens/womens labels when it comes to certain gear, since the womens line may not have what I need to fit my size or shape. Mens shoes proved to be the right way to go.

As far as everything else – all I wear is wicking material. A trip to the nearby outlet mall scored me plenty of that; I have sleeveless shirts (tanks, but not spaghetti strap ones), capri pants, and jog bras that all wick moisture away from my body. I’ve come to the point in my life where I’m so used to wearing wicking materials that I can’t work out in cotton. I had a workout in a cotton t-shirt at BlogHer ’12 and I thought I was going to suffocate, the material was so hot and stuffy. UGH. I won’t link to specific items, since everything I got came from the outlet and is likely discontinued by now. I can say that I tend to favor Reebok items, because they’re local. Of course.

My socks are also wicking material. You may not care a ton about socks until you realize how much work they have to do on your behalf. You need the right amount of cushion but not too much thickness, you need breathable material while still providing protection…you need your socks to do a ton without costing you an arm and a leg. The ones I chose come from REI; they’re fab socks that go just above the ankle, so I don’t have to worry about any possibility of them slipping down and leaving my ankle exposed for blistering. Not that my Brooks shoes would ever TRY to give me a blister, but a little protection can go a long way.

At the recommendation of a friend, I even went with wicking underwear (also from REI). I can’t tell whether the stuff is magical or not, but I can say that having everything on your body in the same general level of breathability can contribute to your overall level of comfort, and even a little bit of straight-up cotton can throw things off. At least for me, that’s what I’ve found. In other words, your mileage may vary, so try stuff out if you want to change things up or leave them as they are when you find something that works. This is what works for me.

Next post: Training and Fundraising…