It’s long past time to stop blaming wives for their husbands’ infidelity

Editor’s note: this post doesn’t address same-gender relationships or relationships with >2 committed parties. If you read it carefully, you’ll see that the messages I’m trying to convey can easily be translated to those.

Now, all that out-of-the-way, it’s time to address the big fat hypocritical elephant in the room: It’s not Hillary’s fault that Bill cheated on her, and it’s not Huma’s fault that Anthony lives up to his last name.

Let’s pick this apart bit by bit, since the vultures already came out to play.

A few years back, we all learned the incredibly smart, statesman-like, folksy Bill Clinton had a wandering eye and wandering hands. He slept with women other than his wife. He accepted special benefits from a White House intern that clearly weren’t part of the standard job description. In short: he cheated on Hillary. He accepted that publicly and was raked across many coals and an entire impeachment process over it. Hillary decided to stand by her man and stay married. Outwardly, she claimed it as her religious principles and her own mores that led her to believe their relationship and trust could be repaired. Cynics derided her as a fool and they claimed she was only doing that to patch up his political career so that he could follow through on quid pro quo support of her own political ambitions once he was out of the White House.

A few years after that, a New York politician running for Mayor named Anthony Weiner made national headlines by having rather private pictures of his private parts become embarrassingly public. Without shaking her head so hard it dislodged from her head, his wife Huma Abedin continued on and worked quietly behind the scenes to get her own relationship back on track. Weiner promised to be a better human, dropped out of the race, and we thought that was that until just a couple of days ago…when yet another picture of his briefs-clad bulge got sexted to some girl eagerly waiting to go public. Why was this a big deal yet again other than the fact that he was back at it? This time, their sleeping son was included in the photo–purely by accident, I’m sure–and now there’s a question as to whether Weiner should be allowed near his son. OH WAIT NO THAT’S NOT IT.

Nope, rather than everyone jumping on the fact that Weiner keeps losing his pants just as he’s about to text someone who has the New York Post on speed-dial, they’re all over Abedin’s inability to control her husband. She must have judgement issues. Oh, and worse still–she works on Clinton’s presidential campaign, so these folks are making the mental leap that obviously Weiner’s wiener has been able to get at classified material and other sensitive items that he shouldn’t be near.

While I can agree that Weiner and his wiener need to be out of the public spotlight for as long as possible–and perhaps all the major mobile carriers should revoke his access to a smartphone–it’s absolutely ludicrous that all of this is backing up on the ladies in question.

Did Bill Clinton cheat all those years ago? Yes. He admitted it.

Is it Hillary Clinton’s fault he cheated? Nope.

Did Anthony Weiner send images of his scantily clad package to women other than his wife? Yes. He admitted it.

Is it Huma Abedin’s fault he did this? Nope.

We are long since past the point where a woman should be held responsible for her man’s sexual satisfaction–and these transgressions from the monogamous relationships they supposedly committed to aren’t related to their wives. The wives in question could be having sex with their husbands multiple times in a day and it still may not be sufficient if A) the husband decides he wants more than that but fails to communicate that, or B) the husband decides he wants his wife AND another person’s attention, or C) the husband decides he just wants another person’s attention.

If we are to say that monogamy was the rule for these marriages, and that it’s a character flaw for these breaks to have occurred, let them back up on the people who actually caused them: Bill Clinton and Anthony Weiner.

It’s utterly ridiculous that the women who choose to keep their marriages together following a breach like this are at fault no matter what they do; it’s sexism and it gives the men a free pass that teaches our daughters they are ALWAYS in the wrong, that they are ALWAYS responsible, even when it’s clearly NOT their fault.

When the stones and arrows are being lobbed by someone who’s on wife #3 (when it’s well-known that the transition from wife #1 to wife #2 was caused by cheating on wife #1 with the woman who’d become wife #2), and the media is willing to eat that up with a spoon, it’s obvious that our ingrained misogyny still needs to be exorcised.

Huma shouldn’t have to take away Anthony’s phone in order to get him to stop sending dick pics, and anyone who says otherwise is admitting that men can’t control themselves. If that’s the case, then clearly a man doesn’t have the self-control to lead our country. Or, if men DO have self-control, then it’s Weiner’s fault and let’s all leave Huma and Hillary alone.

You can’t have it both ways, sexists. We won’t let you.

The future is now: Why THIS Bernie Sanders voter is choosing Hillary Clinton

Vote November 8, 2016

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I have a degree in Political Science, and I remember really loving politics. I used to watch “Meet the Press” with a ton of enjoyment, and I reveled in knowing what was going on inside the Beltway. Lately…not so much.

More and more, it seems like a lot of what’s going on is our descent into some random circle of Hell that even Dante couldn’t have dreamed up. Opinions vary wildly about the state of the economy, although some numbers in 2016 are far better than they were in 2008…and some not as much.

For example, the Dow Jones Industrial Average is almost 50% higher than it was in 2008, and inflation is only one-quarter of what it was back in 2008. On the other hand, college tuition costs are still experiencing double-digit increases and I don’t know ANYONE who’s gotten a raise to match that.

When it came time for the primaries, I decided to vote for Bernie Sanders even though The Bern and I don’t see eye to eye on everything (such as guns, where he’s pro-gun and I’m *not*). Still, I took exception to Hillary Clinton using a private email server when all reason and logic–not to mention Federal regulations–should have kept her from doing so. Being a Clinton is not excuse enough for a “get out of following the rules” card, or at least it shouldn’t be.

But I guessed when I cast my primary ballot that the most likely event was a primary vote for Bernie and a general election vote for Hillary. And thus, this is what will come to pass.

For, you see, I cannot in good conscience vote for Donald Trump. He is the horrific funhouse mirror distortion of our country, a walking poster child for the loud-talking, unapologetically ignorant ‘Murica that many of us nervously joke about when we see knee-jerk jingoism that doesn’t represent us.

At the gateway to New York Harbor stands proudly a gift from the French, a handsome lady clad in a toga, holding aloft a torch–a beacon of hope for those who passed by her from distant shores. The inscription at her feet partly reads:

“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”


I can’t in good conscience vote for someone who treats our military veterans and our Gold Star families with scorn and derision.

I can’t in good conscience vote for someone who treats women as if they’re either playthings or vile creatures–in neither case deserving of respectful treatment.

I can’t in good conscience vote for someone who believes that banning entire groups of people, specifically those from other countries or of a religion to which he does not subscribe, is the answer to ANY question or problem we have.

So, why vote FOR Hillary?

Bill Clinton wasn’t perfect (“Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” being a prime example of a WRONG TURN), but the Clinton years weren’t a complete dystopian nightmare as some would have us all believe. And Hillary is NOT her husband. Like Bill, she is a smart, well-educated person–although, unlike Bill, she’s got experience in two of our three branches of government. Her years as a Senator for New York give her an understanding of how the government works on multiple levels, like playing three-dimensional chess. It’s unclear her major opponent can play more than checkers, and if he lost he’d claim there was cheating involved.

I’m voting FOR Hillary because I know that she’s pro-Woman. Not pro in the sense that she’s a man-hater, but pro in that she doesn’t believe women are less than men. Equal. She believes in equality.

I’m voting FOR Hillary because she believes that our diversity makes us stronger, not weaker–meaning that the answer to the problems of illegal immigration can’t be solved with some towering wall that would be better seen with hallucinogens than concrete: they’re far cheaper and just as effective at solving our current immigration situation.

I’m voting FOR Hillary because she has experience in dealing respectfully with the outside world (and other people INSIDE our country). She doesn’t bark at people to the level where you wonder if her volume button is broken.

I’m voting FOR Hillary because she will make reasoned, rational decisions. Does she always make the right ones? No. (Note the aforementioned email server.) However, she lives her life and conducts herself on a far more even keel than her opponent–although admittedly that’s not a high bar. One could stumble around singing death metal songs in an intensive care ward while knocking out every electrical cord from the wall and still do less damage and harm to those around them than her opponent does every time he opens his Twitter app.

And yes, there are third parties out there–but none of their pairings are either impressive or truly viable on the national stage, and we don’t have a parliamentary system that would go for a coalition government.

It’s time to choose sides: America or ‘Murica. A way forward, or a grand leap back into the Stone Age. Inclusiveness or xenophobia. Reason or rage.

For all of these reasons and more, I choose Hillary.

Oh, and one other thing: if Hillary wins, it won’t be because the election was rigged. Crying foul this early in the process is only the whining of a brat afraid of losing when he knows he’s unfit to win. Perhaps he’s missing out on the lowest common denominator in all of his failed businesses, failed marriages, and failed attempts to win over voters: himself.