So, last year, dh and I did a walking marathon together. I have two bad knees, so running is OUT of the question, but I can walk for days. And, as the theory went, I should then be able to walk for a day straight, right? The answer is, as I discovered: YES. I chronicled this in a series of posts (starting with my decision to do the marathon in the first place), so that I could share what I went through. Part of why I did that was so that others who were interested in learning about what it’s like to walk a marathon could see what my experience was like, and part of it was to make a record for myself, so that I could remember (and not have the same issues with recovering this time out).

I decided that I want to walk the marathon again this year, and I have about 8 months to prepare this time – instead of the 2 months I had last time. I have a bunch of reasons for wanting to do this, but I feel like I have to fight for the time to train against the other marathon I’m in – the constant attempt to balance work, family, home, etc. I was on a Twitter party last night about fitness, and one of the questions that came up was about how you manage to get in your time for a workout when you’re balancing against the other things going on in your life (work, family, illness, etc.). When I was training hard during those two months, I manufactured time and dh was a huge part of that – reworking the schedule so that we could manage to free up time for me to do some lighter training during the week. I never did manage to get my act together to do more than a couple of longer training walks on the weekend.

Some of it is that I’m fighting myself – my desire to get sleep, my desire to keep dinner moving on time, my desire not to screw up dh’s schedule so that both of us can get in the right number of hours at work. Some of it is that dh also needs a shot at working out, and that means balancing the schedule of day care drop off/pick up to make it work for both of us. But, mostly, I know this is me – my block to get past. I have to draw a line in the sand and say that this is what I need to do.

The thing is: I learned last year that I can go an entire 26.2 miles in one day. I wasn’t really sure I could do it until I did. And then, when I did, I figured that I would get hooked and want to do it again. the answer is, naturally, YES. I don’t want to do it lots of times in a year, mostly because I’m not physically in any shape to commit to doing more than once a year. But I’d like to work on that. I’d like not to be a size 14/16 forever. I’d like to look at my legs and see muscle, not jiggle over muscle. Also, I’d like to be able to do that marathon again this year and not spend the last mile of it limping from hip pain.

The only way I see this happening is if I actually commit myself to training better and harder, and the only way that will happen is if I find some kind of way to push myself to go to the gym even when I’m tired, even when I’m worried about how to get dinner to the table on time, even when I know it may mean that I’m bringing work home at night when I’m too tired to think. I still haven’t figured out how to do this, but I have less than 8 months to do it.